Tuesday, June 9, 2009

three stories of delightful, delectable fun

so, last Friday, after getting a sale started at the store, Alex and I headed over to the lovely home of the incredible Mistress Max Rulz for a party to benefit the Woodhull Freedom Foundationn.

Mistress Max has a lovely home with three floors of play space. you know you're in good company when there is a spreader bar hanging from the ceiling on your way into the living room.

When we walked in Nina Hartley was already there. Ricci Levy, the ED of the foundation was working her magic. And Max's slaves were making sure that everything was running smoothly.

It's times like this that i think that i should have some slaves. Especially since part of the deal was that we were supposed to have books and DVDs for sale and I had forgotten to order them.

Last week was one of those weeks when the shit really hit the fan. My partner's father ended up in the hospital and then in a short term care setting - with the possibility of a nursing home looking more and more likely. Which is scary. Dealing with medicaid sucks. Our health care system is so slanted toward the wealthy it's obscene. S and I were trying to get stuff together for her to leave for a long business trip, support her parents and deal with the new tenants at the old house. Who didn't realize that they needed to turn on the electricity. Which they fixed. But it involved us spending a bunch of time dealing with it. Which is fine, but, well, the books didn't get ordered.

See aforementioned slaves. But, I think I'm just not the kind of person who'd be a good owner. I'd end up making the slave dinner and telling them to sit down and watch a movie. And as a white person with ancestors who actually non-consensually owned people - I think it's too loaded for me. 150 some odd years is not quite far enough away from that atrocity for me. But it's hot as shit when other people do it!

then i found out that in addition to the food (which i did remember) i was supposed to have brought plate, napkins, cups and soda. Brilliant.

So I apologized profusely. And a slave was sent to get more provisions.

Clearly, I'm an ass.

The good news is, Max and her staff covered my screw up with aplomb. And I'm very, very grateful.

People started to pour in. We were all standing around chatting about sex and politics. You know, everything your Emily Post says you shouldn't discuss at a party?

Things like this:

"Have you had your implants replaced yet? Aren't you supposed to do that every ten years or so?"

"No - they're going to be 20 years old this fall. I have sex with people younger than these things"


"the other week, someone used a glass dildo on me - and i love glass - but this time instead of in and out, they rotated it in like a spiral. it was amazing!"


"in some ways, we're in more danger now with liberals in the white house. the republicans act all sanctimonious about vice and porn and sex, but they all do it. anti-porn feminists - they're true believers."

And we were looking at Nina's ass. Because, seriously. How can you not? It's a legendary ass. and she was wearing a thong.

I appreciate people who know how to show off their best features. Of course she does have lovely eyes as well...

Carol Queen arrived. She is so sexy in a smart librarian kind of way. Which is really fucking sexy.

The auction started - Nina auctioned off the opportunity to spank her. And Carol auctioned off a private consultation. Two memberships to the Crucible went as well. Then the party began! Which i'm sure was fabulous. But Alex and I slipped out. Bound for bed and work the next day. Well, I was bound for bed. Alex is less boring than me, so she may have gone out. It was, after all, only 10:30. But I'll let her tell you about that...if there is anything to tell!


Alexandra said...

I drove from Baltimore to DC to go clubbing at APEX. It was an uneventful night - claustrophobia and shitty parking were SO boring after Mistress Max's. :)

grizzyhip said...

uhh.. theres a sale goin on?

Jacq Jonese said...

there was a sale at the store that night to benefit Baltimore Pride. no sale going on right now though...