Friday, March 27, 2009

in which i play with a meat tenderizer

Saturday flew by. Sold some stuff. Drank some coffee. Realised that i was going to be underdressed for the evening festivities. Sulked for a minute.

You see, Saturday night is the night of the big competition. I'd never been to a leather competition before. I'd heard about them, but never been. And, it turns out that it is an opportunity to wear fantastic outfits. Which I really should have thought of. By the time I realised this, I had already worn my best outfit for vending. So, it was jeans, a t-shirt and cute shoes.

The event was super fun. Essentially, it's a pageant. Like Miss America. But for leather. And with hotter folks. There are two categories. International Ms Leather and International Ms Bootblack.

The competitors for each participate in interviews. The bootblacks spend a lot of time boot blacking. Then the IMsL competitors compete in "hot wear", on stage question and a performance (that apparently they avoid calling "talent"). It was fun. A state senator came and read a proclamation. S. Bear Bergman MCd. The competition seemed fierce. The outgoing title holders made speeches. And then the winners were announced. It was really exciting! Lamilani and Pony won! With the amazing Sarah Sloane coming in as first runner up.

After that, I wandered upstairs to the Cigar and Boots party. Cigars, boot blacking, cocktails. Seriously? Good stuff. I got to see one of my friends get boot blacked from head to toe. Leather jacket, leather pants, boots - rubbed massaged and buffed with a scotch in one hand and a cigar in the other. Lovely!

A group of us then wandered down the dungeon and gathered up some pervertables (sold at The Inverted Eye) and began to play with them, discovering what kind of sensations they make. We rolled a meat tenderizer back and forth across chests and arms. Smacked a frat paddle on bottoms and thighs. My favorite was an old wire whisk. Whisks used to be made of a much heavier metal, resulting in an object that provides light thud and almost no sting. After a bit I started to crash. It was approaching three am. I crawled up to my room and passed out.

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